Today is a real challenge for me.
I am in hospital again for some spinal surgery. Something that’s completely unrelated to my birth trauma but I am terrified.
PTSD recurring symptoms…
I didn’t sleep last night and feel anxious, nervous, sick and more than anything scared. Will I die? Will I bleed out again? Will I wake up in ITU again?
Deep down in my logical mind I know that none of these things will happen. This is routine, planned surgery for a back issue. But I can’t shake that nagging doubt.
The hospital have been fab. They have acknowledged all of my past history and shown real care and empathy. They have suggested and I have agreed to have a pre med before going down to theatre to calm me. They have have also agreed for my lovely husband to accompany me down.
Wish me luck……!