PTSD always on my shoulder…

Today is a real challenge for me.

I am in hospital again for some spinal surgery. Something that’s completely unrelated to my birth trauma but I am terrified.

PTSD recurring symptoms…

I didn’t sleep last night and feel anxious, nervous, sick and more than anything scared. Will I die? Will I bleed out again? Will I wake up in ITU again?

Deep down in my logical mind I know that none of these things will happen. This is routine, planned surgery for a back issue. But I can’t shake that nagging doubt.

The hospital have been fab. They have acknowledged all of my past history and shown real care and empathy. They have suggested and I have agreed to have a pre med before going down to theatre to calm me. They have have also agreed for my lovely husband to accompany me down.

Wish me luck……!